Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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