The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
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