Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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