I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
