so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
