Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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