Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I got her a Nickelback box set.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Randomize
