But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Randomize
