"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
