hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
The air was thick with penises
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
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