Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
