fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
