why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just found puke in my bra..
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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