Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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