its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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