You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
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I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
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Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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