So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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