Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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