I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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