I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
