Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
