But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
