oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Congratulations! We have a period
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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