First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Less talking, more tequila
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
