And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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