I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
