Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
