If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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