i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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