i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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