Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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