so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
