I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
