so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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