...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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