Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
