He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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