i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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