this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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