Say something about gay babies.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
