I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
