Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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