So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
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He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
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Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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