ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
