smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
