You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Panties = found
Randomize
