I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
