Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Randomize
