I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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