My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize