If that was your dad, he is hot
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
