There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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