Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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