Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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