bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
