either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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