In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
