Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
