I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
