so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
