dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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