ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
