I'm really into asian looking animals
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
