I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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