If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
