You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
