It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
