forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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