if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
