Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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