Jerry, you need to find god
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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