awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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