Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
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WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize